If there is one thing that I have learned from working with youth, it is that everyone is trying to find something. It may be simple like finding a new hobby, or looking for something new to add to their life. But I know that many of our youth today are looking for something more. They are looking for significance.
A place where they belong...
A place where they are accepted...
A place where they are loved...
A place to call home...
A place where they mean something...
Adolescents today are searching for significance because there is an empty void that they feel deep inside their souls. It is not simple. It is not easy. Something has to be better doesn't it? Something HAS to be missing? But what is it? I have tried to think critically about my own life and things that I have used to fulfill this need to matter. This need to BE SOMEONE. I have tried so many different places that I cannot even remember where I have looked. This search is more than looking under a couple rocks and moving along. It is a frantic search for a treasure that is of utmost importance. Ever wonder why guys try hard to be seen tough, masculine, and important? Or why girls care so much about their appearance, their dress, and their relationships ? I think it all boils down to this idea of being significant. I am reminded of two stories from teenagers that help with this idea:
I met "Mike" when I was on camp teams. He was from inner city Cincinnati and just by looking at him you can tell that he was having a tough time being at church camp. We struck up a relationship through basketball. Every time he had the chance, he would challenge me to a game of 1 on 1. I got the chance to sit down with him one evening and talk about his life. He had no problem telling me that he was in a gang and that he "rides and dies with his boys". When he heard about Jesus, he often looked into the distance as if to wonder what he could possible offer Mike. Mike was almost ashamed to tell me that he had a decent home life, because he thought he would ruin h is street cred. Mike was looking for something. He was searching for a place where he belonged and he found it--in his gang. He told me that he didn't really like violence or drugs, but that is what he had to do in order to fit in. I often wonder what Mike is doing today. I was honored to baptize him at camp, but I wonder how he is finding his significants today. Is it in the church?
Then there is "Ali". I have known Ali for a long time, but never really thought much about her lifestyle. We had been semi-friends for awhile and when she found out I was going to Ozark, she jumped at the opportunity to talk with me. I remember tears rolling down her face and smearing her over applied make up. I had trouble understanding what she was saying, but she was telling me how empty she felt. That she wore the things she did, and acted the way she did because it was the only way that people noticed her. It was the only way she could get guys to realize she is a person. She admitted to jumping into any guy's arms that showed her attention, and although she felt like she was wrong, she could justify it by how it made her feel. I remember praying with her and telling her to get involved somewhere--a church that I knew could accept her and help transform her. I saw her a little while later, and she acted as if nothing had ever happened. As if she never told me how empty she felt and how her void was being filled with things that wouldn't last and didn't matter.
Both of these stories happen all across the world. Different situations, different names, different cultures, and different people--but it happens all across the world. I think the time that significance plays its biggest toll is when you are laying in bed. In between that state of being wide awake and starting to get tired. In those moments, our minds race about all kinds of things. Responsibilities for the next day, our futures, current problems, reflections, and this idea of significance. We think half critically and half hypothetically about situations that we place ourselves in. Do we matter? The thought about our funeral often brings a wondering of, "who would be there?" "Who would miss me". I don't work with youth just because they are fun, enthusiastic, and mold able. I work with youth because there is such a need that only God can fill.
If you a.....
Teenager--Please believe that you mean something. That you are worth the world to the most important person that ever lived. You are worth dying for. Your significance cannot be measured by what you do, who you date, or what you are good at. You significance was so important that Jesus was willing to die to spend eternity with you. You mean more to people than you will ever know. Get connected to someone who can tell you about Jesus on a deep level. It is the most important thing you can do.
Parent--Please believe me when I say that all kids go through this tough struggle about significance. If you have an amazing child that loves you and loved Jesus, then I am thankful for that. But please know that this struggle effects everyone. Whether you know about it or not. Be active in your kid's lives and although they shrug off the I love you's and push you away when you give them hugs--it means the world to them to know that they have people who care about them. It plays a vital role in a development process that never stops.
Youth worker--Keep doing what you are doing. Critically think of ways to keep kids involved and always always connect them with Jesus. Put yourself in a situation where students want to talk to you about their lives on a deep level. Make yourself available and let them know that they mean something to you.
